August 05, 2014
Ever been in that situation where you sit down to briefly check in with a co-worker and a half hour later you’re still listening to a dreadful story about another co-worker or something that was heard regarding a company change? You’re thinking to yourself, “ This is way too much information...is this really true?” Or, “I really shouldn’t be listening to this. I want to stop this gossip train that has left the station and appears to have no clear arrival time?”
It’s so easy to become an innocent party to gossip and rumors. A harmless, good intentioned attempt to engage with another colleague in the daily course of work can easily turn into a completely different communication experience. The good news is there are some easy to use interaction tips that you can apply that can help you manage these delicate moments with tact and finesse.
Be prepared to state a time boundary
When approaching a colleague, state a time boundary right from the beginning, “Hi Sue, I only have a few minutes, or 5 minutes before I need to …..get back to my project, hop on the next conference call, meet with ...etc… “I just wanted to stop by to…….”
There are 2 keys to this tip. The first is to be prepared, meaning you may need to rehearse ahead of time and have a scripted phrase. The second is you’re expressing a clear, fixed, short time boundary.
Be prepared to stand up and take control of the conversation with an interjected statement/phrase
It’s fairly popular body language that when someone stands up, it’s an indicator they are ready to go. In this case it begins to disrupt the talker’s train of thought and discussion, which is exactly what you want. It also indicates you are taking back control of the interaction.
Next make a closing statement. Do not wait for them to stop talking! You must lead them to end your time together. Again preparation is key. You must interject your closing statement to honor the time frame you initially indicated and here is where your initial statement plays an additional role. Note the following sample:
“Oh Sue, I hate to interrupt but I need to get to my meeting with Bob, or prepare for my next conference call or get back to my project…” How wonderful that setting up the time boundary from the beginning makes it easier to close the conversation when the time comes.
One final key tip -- what you state you need to hold to. Stay true to your statement or in the future you won’t be taken seriously.
So with these few tips, you too can avoid being sucked into any unwanted conversation! Be consistent and stay the leader of the interaction.
JoAnn Corley
JoAnn Corley is the CEO, Founder of The Human Sphere™ – a holistic talent management consultancy, speaker and author. She conducts professional development seminars through-out North America and has helped thousands gain their professional edge by getting results, thinking creatively, working more collaboratively, and leading more effectively. She is author of several books and a digital and radio media contributor.